I called the swine flu hotline and all I got was crackling...

Accessorize! accessorize! accessorize!

We all love to make a fashion statement from time to time. Even when the chips are down and the pigs are flying, it's important to get yourself out there looking hot, but not feverishly hot. So with all that in mind, may I present to you this years must have – the flu mask.















Look for them at a store near you soon, or on the galleries below:

http://guanabee.com/2009/04/swine-flu-mask-fashion

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthpicturegalleries/5243655/Decorated-swine-flu-surgical-masks-in-Mexico.html?image=11

Burlesque in Camden: the new Prohibition?

So, Camden Council have sent out a warning to The Proud Gallery in Stables Market and other venues in the area, telling them to drop Burlesque acts from it's Saturday night 'Be' club – or apply for a strip licence. The owner of the gallery and bar, Alex Proud, said: "It seems to me that the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law is being enforced. It seemed lacking in common sense that it was somehow illegal or lewd for Burlesque girls dancing to an obviously mixed, obviously non-striptease crowd. Proud is a million miles away from a strip club. The spirit of Paul Raymond does not live here. Although I am as ugly and as hairy-chested as that man, I do not intend to emulate him in any other way.” Now, Camden's licensing policy apparently states, performers can walk on stage in nothing but nipple tassels and a g-string, but they cannot take their clothes off on stage – which obviously would interfere with some burlesque performances. A woman from the council said: “Camden is not preventing Burlesque troops from performing in the borough. Camden’s licensing policy, which was widely consulted upon and approved in 2008, states that any premises in the borough that wish to offer entertainment involving nudity, striptease or other entertainment of an adult nature will need approval from the Licensing Authority – Burlesque falls within this criteria.” Personally, as a lover of burlesque, I think it's a shame things are going this way. Yes, in a way it is adult entertainment – but putting it in the same category as strip clubs or pole dancing venues? I don't think so. I also want to ask, is a balloon pop act considered stripping, since technically no clothes are involved? Answers on a g-string please...

More here from Ham & High:

http://www.hamhigh.co.uk/content/camden/hamhigh/news/story.aspx?brand=NorthLondon24&category=Newshamhigh&tBrand=northlondon24&tCategory=newshamhigh&itemid=WeED27%20Apr%202009%2010%3A51%3A28%3A163

And from bbc news:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/8023462.stm

The Comedy School...

I've only gaw'n and done it! Starting on the 10th of May and going on until June the 20th, a six week course in fact... It says on the site you'll be learning things like, generating material, developing performance skills, discovering your comic attitude, examining stage persona and exploring joke structure... Well, it should be pretty cathartic I hope and yet still cheaper than therapy and a course of anti-depressants (although I'll probably have to start those after I get through it and end up on stage). Just typing this is giving me sweaty palms. Well, you heard it here first people, all the no people that are reading this anyway. I'll be posting updates on my development once it all kicks-off.

Aaaaaaaaaaagggrrrrhhhh!!!!

Let the right one in...

Went to see this about a week ago. A very special film, very sensitively crafted about a fragile young lad, Oskar, who is regularly bullied by his classmates and never strikes back. So far so Emo you say, but this is Sweden and there is a vampire in our midst, in the guise of 12-year-old Eli. Director Tomas Alfredson has weaved a magic tale of loyalty and friendship into a darkly disturbing tapestry of blood-stained vampire goodness. A great film, unusually paced with terrific moments. I'd rate it five vials of holy water out of five.

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My next course...

There comes a time in every man and boys life when he feels the need to try something different, something he has never tried before. Something he has wanted to do for a long time but has been just too jittery to try. I am about to try and enroll in a Stand-Up Comedy course... Aaaaaaaaaaaaggggggrrrrhhhh!!! I shall keep you posted.

Swifty

Tense British thriller by writer director Eran Creevy. Went and saw this on Sunday afternoon. Ouch – tough gig! Thoroughly enjoyed it, although was a lesson in awkward social situations. I spent a lot of the film wanting to watch it through my fingers, and that was just the bits where characters are interacting face to face in a 'normal' situation. Cracking performances from Riz Ahmed and Daniel Mays and good job all round for Creevy. Four grammes of the devils dandruff outta five for this one.

In the Loopedy Loop

In the Loop I finally got around to watching last night. It's the 'This is Spinal Tap' of cutting Anglo-American political satire. Armando Iannucci has written some of the sharpest, most biting dialogue that you could hope to hear coming from a cinema sound system and you could certainly almost start to believe that this is how it all went down. Apparently Alastair Campbell didn't like it, citing it as boring. Iannucci's answer? Campbell has already seen it all happen once, it's bound to not be as good a second time round! I'd certainly give it a rating of five amended leaked dossiers out of five.